Long Overdue

Hello dear friends,

I can’t believe July is almost over. So much has been going on and yet I feel stuck. Some days I can’t bring myself to do anything. 

I miss my mom so so much. I’ve picked up my phone to call or text her so many times. We had her memorial service in May. It was a beautiful day and all but two members of our immediate family were able to join us.

Found this photo when I was moving all of mom's belongings out of her apartment.

Family - guessing sometime around 1976-1977
Back Row: Dad & Mom
Front Row (L to R): Ken (brother), Kris (sister), Me, Tammy (sister)

I recently had a follow up with my doctor.  He told me I have Post ICU Syndrome, Post Sepsis Syndrome and PTSD, which were all triggered when my mom was in the ICU before she passed.  I had a ton of labs, CT scans, and EKG done.  I’m happy to say everything came back normal and my kidney function has improved even more.

Unfortunately, I still have neuropathy in my arms, hands, legs, feet, and lower back.  My doctor says we just have to wait and see if it resolves, but it might not ever resolve, so prepare myself for that possibility.  Even though it has not improved, I've been having nerve sensations like ice water running down along my shin bone, walking through a spider web, or something light brushing against my arm.  There are days that the neuropathy is so bad, that I can't hold anything without dropping it or I can't stand or walk without holding on to something.

I've had some pretty bad falls too.  A lot of the falls have resulted from tripping over a slight edge on the floor or losing my balance.  In my mind, I see myself like I was before I got sick, not as having mobility and balance issues.  Still having anxiety, panic attacks, and nightmares.  My doctor says that is part of the recovery process, but it also may not ever resolve. 

Our youngest daughter - during deployment - 2026

Our youngest daughter, the Army Captain, left for deployment in early February 2026.   She had told us that she wouldn't be back from deployment until July or August.  We were happy to hear from her in mid-June letting us know she was home!  She'll be moving again as she has received her next assignment to begin in January 2027 and is expected to be promoted to Major in December 2026 or January 2027!  

We decided at the last minute to drive to Colorado, where she is currently living, for the long Independence Day weekend.  Because Hubby wasn't able to get any extra time off, we arrived on Thursday,  July 1 and left on Sunday, July 5.  Our oldest daughter and her family had already arrived a few days before us.

We had a great family weekend together!

Skyline Drive, Canon City, C0
July 4, 2026

Our oldest daughter wanted to go on a scenic drive to have their picture taken again because it was something they did two years ago when they visited.  They asked us to go too, but said we'd have to drive separately because they didn't have enough room for all of us in one vehicle.  However, they purposely failed to tell us what type of road we'd be traveling on.  In the photo above, I was trembling because I don't do well with heights.  The views were spectacular, but the road to get there was the most terrifying road I've ever been on!  If you are interested in learning more about Skyline Drive, click here.

Our oldest grandson, L, played Little League Baseball this year.  We went to every game and cheered him on.  His team was made up of kindergarten through 2nd grade.  He was one of the two kindergarteners on the team.  There were a couple first graders and the rest were second graders.  

Always left his socks rolled down and his helmet seemed to be bigger than him, lol

On second base, holding his pants up, ready to run to third

He was the smallest kid on the team.  My daughter was unable to find baseball pants small enough to fit him.  He wasn't always able to get his belt tightened enough and we often saw him holding his pants up while he was playing, as in the picture above!  For his first season of playing baseball, he did very well.  He got on base every game and scored almost every time he got on base.  He played center field most of the time, but occasionally, the coach had him play first base, which L loved!

Youngest Grandson, H, playing hide & seek!

I've been having the boys one or two days a week to give our daughter time to continue her college courses towards her second masters.  This particular day, I only had H because L was at day camp.  H wanted to play hide & seek and found the perfect hiding spot, lol!

More news - I retired in December 2025!  I had always planned to keep working and never thought about retirement.  After my illness, I wasn't sure I would see another birthday.  With support from my family, I decided to retire after my birthday, which was December 3.  I now have more time to focus on my family and my continuing recovery. 

Our first tomato harvest!

Hubby and I quietly celebrated our 37th wedding anniversary on May 27.  This man has been beside me through all of my illness and continuing recovery.  He held my hand and tended to my needs.  He came to the hospital and skilled nursing facility every single day. We are truly living the "in sickness" part of our vows.

In April, he had a MRI of the prostate and we were informed that a mass was found on the MRI and it was likely cancer.  Hubby had a biopsy in June.  Of the 15 samples they took from the prostate, all but two have cancer.  Hubby has decided to have surgery to remove the prostate.  We see the surgeon next week to get everything set up for surgery.   

Here's your laugh for the day:

Our youngest daughter calls these lights boob lights.  Hubby put up a couple new ones in our camper recently.  She said, "well, mom, you should know why guys like them so much!" 🤣

Praying that you and your family are doing well!

Lately...

 Hello Friends,

I've tried to write this post so many times.  

If you've been following my blog, you know that I've been my Mom's caregiver for many years and that she's had complex medical issues.  We were able to keep her medical issues stable for a very long time, but things started changing last fall.  My Mom was hospitalized again in late January.  Her heart and kidneys were failing and my Mom decided she was done fighting.  

My mom passed away peacefully on February 4, 2026.  

I am so sad and heartbroken.  She suffered so much the last three months and I feel that I didn't do enough to ease her suffering.  

I am still recovering from my severe illness.  It is hard to believe that I couldn't stand or walk a year ago. I've accomplished a lot, but still have a long recovery ahead.

Hug your loved ones and let them know how much they mean to you.

Been A Long Time!

 Hello Dear Friends,

I was just reading my last blog post.  So much has happened since that post.  For those that don't know, my entire family got sick with Influenza A in December.  I got very sick.  I had Influenza A, pneumonia, a strep infection in my blood,  and sepsis. 

Hubby took me to the emergency room on December 26 and I was lifeflighted to a bigger hospital 100 miles away on December 27.  I'm told that I would not have survived if I wouldn't have been lifeflighted.  I was put on a ventilator for many weeks and even during that time, the doctors and my family didn't know if I would survive.  I was in a medically induced coma, my organs had shut down, I was on continual dialysis, and lost all of my muscle mass during that time.  I have very little memory of December, January, February, and March.  

I spent seven weeks in the ICU, five weeks at a skilled nursing facility, and I am still in physical, occupational, and speech therapy.  I couldn't talk or move my body, arms, legs, fingers or toes because I had lost all my muscle mass and strength.  The skilled nursing facility worked with me to get me moving,  standing, walking, and feeding myself.

My family says I am a miracle.  My kidneys are working and show no signs of injury from my illness and I'm getting stronger every day.  I have neuropathy in my extremities, a hoarseness in my voice from being on the ventilator so long, and other weaknesses that may or may not resolve.  My doctors tell me I need to wait and see.  I was also told that it will take more than a year and a half for me to fully recover.  I worry about getting sick again.

I thought the hardest part would be getting strong enough to move my body, stand, walk, and feed myself.  No one mentioned that I would also have memory and cognitive issues, PTSD and depression during my recovery too.  

I hope to be back with another post soon.

Your continued thoughts and prayers are so appreciated.